Extract from acknowledgement in my Ph.D. Thesis “This thesis is dedicated to my mother Adrienne Coutts, who gave me my hunger for knowledge and always encouraged me to ask questions. I hope one day to be as wise as her” Asking questions and being told random facts was an under-appreciated joy of car journeys. This practice is alive and well and now bravely tolerated by my fiance Kevin. Chris and I can get into a kind of perpetual loop of pondering and speculation about pretty much anything. Characteristics I think I share with mum are curiosity, friendliness, love of food and booze and my no-nonsense attitude (quoted from Auntie Carole). That's not to say Dad doesn't have those qualities too! My parents relationship will always be a model for my own. To me they embodied balance, partnership and equality. It never crossed my mind that men and women could be considered anything other than equal. My and Kevin's wedding will be hard without her there. It's really weird that Kevin never met her. Mum comes to mind when I'm performing music – playing fiddle or singing. I think she would have been really proud. I'm learning some of Mum's favourite songs to sing myself. I wish I could read as quickly as Mum did and I love reading her poetry. I discovered when reading stories to Piran that I defaulted to Mum's story-reading voice. After that Piran specifically requested that I read his bedtime story that night. Now that I'm tutoring maths, I feel like I'm channelling Mum during my lessons. Mum warned me off teaching, although I know she loved her career and was an excellent teacher. Mum passed onto me her love of horses. I think she really did seriously consider whether we could realistically keep a pony, but obviously I wasn't persuasive enough. I always imagined us four as a family riding out together. I can't believe the number of hours she spent on that bench in the freezing cold watching my and Chris's riding lessons. It is not, and never will be, fair that she can't be with us. I love you Mummy.